When I chose this topic i.e. “life”, I was thinking that I can write so many things. But now that I’ve started writing about it, I’m finding it really difficult. Words aren’t coming to me. I’m finding it difficult to pen down my thoughts.
This word life brings a smile on my face. The moment I think about this four letter word, some question marks surface on the screen of my mind. Sometimes it makes me smile and sometimes it just makes me think- so many things visit me, so many faces, so many incidents, frame by frame appear on the screen of my mind. This life happened to me some twenty eight years back, on the 8th day of January, 1979… Back then I wasn’t aware about these dates and months and years… about this ticking crocodile… time! I knew nothing or maybe what I knew back then I’ve now forgotten. I would like to feel what I felt back then when I arrived into this world… the first thought that came to my mind… Did I feel anything? Or is it that I wasn’t educated enough to feel, to think back then?? I don’t know… it’s weird!! I mean I don’t remember anything of my initial days in this world… Was it planned this way only by the Creator? It really makes me smile. I feel so very helpless that I know nothing about the Creator ‘n’ the creations, about myself, about anything. It’s strange that I don’t even know anything about myself.
All my life I’ve been waiting/ searching for something. I don’t know what it is that I’m looking for. I dream about having a dream worth fighting for. Is it the same with everyone? Maybe! But I’m not concerned about others. What matters to me is me, myself. I don’t know why is it so difficult to accept the fact that we are all selfish. Whatever we do we do it for ourselves only. Even when we do something for others, in reality we do it for ourselves only. Why can’t we accept it then? Why do they think that being selfish aint good??
I still remember how I used to ask my mother about my purpose on this earth, in this enormous creation- universe. What am I doing here mother? What was there when I wasn’t here? What’ll happen to everything after me??? The moment this thought hits me, the screen of my mind becomes blank!! And when this thought escapes my mind, those images re-appear. It amuses me! It makes me smile!
Who are these faces that surround me, what’s this disturbing noise? What are they doing here?? There are just two things that exist- “me” ‘n’ “Him”! Rest everything is an illusion!! When I’m alone I try to connect to the One. But I never get a response. Maybe I lack something… something very basic… but I’ll know it one day ‘coz one thing is sure, the game can’t go on like this. There should be some twist, some turn in this tale-o-life to make it interesting, to keep it going… and I believe I’m not that far from that turn, that twist…
I look for sign/s, some clue/s in life. It’s like solving a puzzle where you look for clues/hints to crack it. Sometimes you manage to read the signs correctly ‘n’ so u reach the next stage but sometimes you just don’t get it right ‘n’ so u return to where you were. You feel bad but then again the show must go on ‘n’ so u stand up again, gather some strength ‘n’ again start looking for the signs/ clues to crack the puzzle i.e. life. It’s interesting… it’s confusing… it’s magical… it’s full of twists ‘n’ turns… this life which the Creator wrote… I’m the central character of this story, my story ‘n’ I believe there’s just one story… just one!!!
I wear masks to conceal my true self. Sometimes I wear the mask of sorrow, sometimes of joy, sometimes I’m emotionless, plain, blank… to some I’m a good human being, to some I’m bad, to some I’m just okay… some think I’m a bore, some find me interesting… some smile at me, some are proud of me, some are indifferent to me as if I don’t exist… but does it really matter? What others think about me? I don’t think so! I would like not to think so. ‘coz they think about the one with those masks- they don’t/ can’t think about the one behind those masks… What matters is what I think about myself- without any masks on- the real me!!
I would like to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think… its tough though- but then there ain’t any fun doing the easy things! So then I’ll keep on trying… keep on fighting…
Life’s calling ‘n’ I’m busy writing this blog… I better respond to its call! ;) will be back soon with some more words, some more thoughts…
Till then keep digging… keep on fighting… what you must fight!
This word life brings a smile on my face. The moment I think about this four letter word, some question marks surface on the screen of my mind. Sometimes it makes me smile and sometimes it just makes me think- so many things visit me, so many faces, so many incidents, frame by frame appear on the screen of my mind. This life happened to me some twenty eight years back, on the 8th day of January, 1979… Back then I wasn’t aware about these dates and months and years… about this ticking crocodile… time! I knew nothing or maybe what I knew back then I’ve now forgotten. I would like to feel what I felt back then when I arrived into this world… the first thought that came to my mind… Did I feel anything? Or is it that I wasn’t educated enough to feel, to think back then?? I don’t know… it’s weird!! I mean I don’t remember anything of my initial days in this world… Was it planned this way only by the Creator? It really makes me smile. I feel so very helpless that I know nothing about the Creator ‘n’ the creations, about myself, about anything. It’s strange that I don’t even know anything about myself.
All my life I’ve been waiting/ searching for something. I don’t know what it is that I’m looking for. I dream about having a dream worth fighting for. Is it the same with everyone? Maybe! But I’m not concerned about others. What matters to me is me, myself. I don’t know why is it so difficult to accept the fact that we are all selfish. Whatever we do we do it for ourselves only. Even when we do something for others, in reality we do it for ourselves only. Why can’t we accept it then? Why do they think that being selfish aint good??
I still remember how I used to ask my mother about my purpose on this earth, in this enormous creation- universe. What am I doing here mother? What was there when I wasn’t here? What’ll happen to everything after me??? The moment this thought hits me, the screen of my mind becomes blank!! And when this thought escapes my mind, those images re-appear. It amuses me! It makes me smile!
Who are these faces that surround me, what’s this disturbing noise? What are they doing here?? There are just two things that exist- “me” ‘n’ “Him”! Rest everything is an illusion!! When I’m alone I try to connect to the One. But I never get a response. Maybe I lack something… something very basic… but I’ll know it one day ‘coz one thing is sure, the game can’t go on like this. There should be some twist, some turn in this tale-o-life to make it interesting, to keep it going… and I believe I’m not that far from that turn, that twist…
I look for sign/s, some clue/s in life. It’s like solving a puzzle where you look for clues/hints to crack it. Sometimes you manage to read the signs correctly ‘n’ so u reach the next stage but sometimes you just don’t get it right ‘n’ so u return to where you were. You feel bad but then again the show must go on ‘n’ so u stand up again, gather some strength ‘n’ again start looking for the signs/ clues to crack the puzzle i.e. life. It’s interesting… it’s confusing… it’s magical… it’s full of twists ‘n’ turns… this life which the Creator wrote… I’m the central character of this story, my story ‘n’ I believe there’s just one story… just one!!!
I wear masks to conceal my true self. Sometimes I wear the mask of sorrow, sometimes of joy, sometimes I’m emotionless, plain, blank… to some I’m a good human being, to some I’m bad, to some I’m just okay… some think I’m a bore, some find me interesting… some smile at me, some are proud of me, some are indifferent to me as if I don’t exist… but does it really matter? What others think about me? I don’t think so! I would like not to think so. ‘coz they think about the one with those masks- they don’t/ can’t think about the one behind those masks… What matters is what I think about myself- without any masks on- the real me!!
I would like to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think… its tough though- but then there ain’t any fun doing the easy things! So then I’ll keep on trying… keep on fighting…
Life’s calling ‘n’ I’m busy writing this blog… I better respond to its call! ;) will be back soon with some more words, some more thoughts…
Till then keep digging… keep on fighting… what you must fight!
1 comment:
WE GOTTTA LIVE LIFE RATHER THEN READ ABOUT IT.............!LIVING THIS MOMENT N BEYOND...............its life....!
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